My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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