it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
