Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
