i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
