I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Randomize
