I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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