I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
