One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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