I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
