I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
