Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Randomize
