I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
