Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
