I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
