Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
