Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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