Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
