I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
