I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
