The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
