im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
