no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
