Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
