just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
