at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
