is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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