this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
