where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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