he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
