he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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