Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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