We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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