She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
