please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
