did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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