Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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