It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
