I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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