I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
