Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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