Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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