Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
