Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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