My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
