If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
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