dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
