why didn't you poke me back
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
