Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
