So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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