ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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