My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
